It’s common knowledge that you can’t change anyone in a relationship. You’re responsible for yourself, your growth and your own change. And yes, while this is true, there are certainly things you can maximize, things you can encourage and ways to make what your partner already does even better. And by doing this, everyone wins.
Men almost invariably, when they care about you, aim to please. They want you to be happy. And as a lover, they want you to be satisfied. The more you are, the more they are. It’s a mean spirited and inaccurate stereotype to think of men as selfish lovers. Yes, statistically and physiologically it’s easier for men to achieve orgasm, but they spend a great deal of their energy pursuing you, seducing you, romanticising you, appreciating your body not only for their own pleasure, but genuinely also for yours. Here's how to take this desire and make it work for your ultimate pleasure:
#1 Men have tunnel vision
Women are multi-taskers and they excel at it. Men are superb at doing one task until success. They have relentless energy when they concentrate on achieving one thing. Harness this focus. They love to orgasm and want you to, too. Don’t feel guilty if they’re spending a lot of time on you. Revel in it! Let them take their natural skill of concentrating on one thing at a time and make that thing you.
#2 Men are motivated by a compliment
Okay, so many men may not take direction well or even like to ask for directions at all, but they do respond well to praise and ego boosts. The takeaway? If something they do is great, let them know. Whether that’s choosing a position. Setting a good rhythm. Tempo and pressure of touch. They will change to meet your need once you express it with praise.
#3 Men are good with their hands
Whether they work with their hands now, all men were once boys. From Lego to model making, sport, puzzles, and even video games, men can use their hands. Emphasise their touch by guiding them where you want their hands to go.
#4 Men are suckers for a sexy sight
They’re visual. You have to be living under a rock to not know this. It’s wired into the construction of their brains, literally. They respond to seeing visual stimuli. Want them to gravitate to a sexy area of your body? Emphasise it visually.
#5 Men are hugely turned on by your smell
Not every woman is as ‘scentually focused’ as their man, but men are ruled by their senses when it comes to sex. So whether it’s a big erotic trigger for you or not, be aware it’s almost certainly a sexy attribute for your guy. Tease him with it, seduce him with it. When he smells you, your skin, that scent that is uniquely you (and we’re not talking store bought perfume here), he will want you.